Celebrating Pride: Outspoken Team Member, Devin Forbes, Shares His Story
/As the founders of Outspoken, it’s important that we continue to give you a little taste of who we are as a team and celebrate our unique perspectives. Below one of our talented agents, Devin Forbes, shares his story in honor of Pride month.
“This month should inspire conversations between friends, colleagues and families. Promote conversations that, otherwise, might not come up. Be daring. This is our chance to share beliefs and to listen to the beliefs of others. Pride month offers an opportunity to take a step back and admire the progress that has been made, and to smile at the future we continue to build. Though our world is not without faults, just take a moment to appreciate where we are and the accomplishments that allow for us to feel safe. Take this month to remember the heroes who came before us. Offer the recognition and gratitude for the freedoms we know today. Take the chance to share your story, because showing your happiness and your pride just might fall upon the ears of a scared individual who feels alone. Your story might be the single seed of hope that they need.”
We couldn’t say it better, Devin.
From our outspoken team to yours—Happy Pride!
I wasn’t one of those rough and tumble, trucks in the mud kind of boys. I was sensitive, sassy and loved a good Disney princess story. The truth was anyone that had any sense knew that I was different from the moment I could speak, strut and accessorize. Even when I was wearing an over-sized t-shirt as pajamas, I knew the look was missing a cute belt, you know? To really cinch the waist and exaggerate the skirt. I’m without any doubt that every kid at some point has tried on their mother’s high-heels. But it’s the select few that will experience a feeling of disappointment when met with limited stock or even styles that conflict with our childhood sense of fashion. Would it have been so difficult for my mother to own a set of Afghan ruby slippers, or a pair of polycarbonate 4 inch stilettos? Nevertheless, this sensitive and sassy dreamer had to make do with the sensible 40mm slingback in neutral/safe tones.
Though sneaking into my mother’s closet and trying on her “for your comfort shoes” was a phase, my sexuality was not. In school, I was always more comfortable around girls because they didn’t pose a threat to me. They were soft, kind and also enjoyed all things that were pretty. I later grew to understand that we also shared an amorous interest in men. However, it was very early on that I realized my anxiety towards other boys. They were rough, strong and terrifying in groups. I wasn’t good at sports and didn’t like it when something could potentially leave a bruise or, worse, stain my carefully crafted outfit of the day. I was so bad at sports my dad actually found me a baseball glove that was lined with Velcro and would try tossing me a ball with a very catchable fuzzy exterior. Sad to say, I had the coordination of a hog-tied rodeo clown and even this crafty contraption couldn’t help build me an athletic edge.
“Working closely with such a broad range of talented, brilliant minds and helping introduce their topics with audiences is extremely gratifying. It’s important to always ask questions and continue to learn throughout your life.”
In an effort to balance my physical awkwardness, my parents introduced me to gymnastics. A male gymnast! Strong, disciplined and rugged! I was set on the path of becoming burly, tolerant of physical pain, and maybe even gain a healthy competitive spirit while also finding affirmation in male friendships! Even still, you would find me gravitating toward the groups of girls and my interest focused around their events. The rings were too hard and I was not cool with running full tilt toward a stationary apparatus, only to then launch my body into the air and pray for a landing. I can remember laying lifeless on a crash mat wondering “Why hasn’t anyone told me more about what’s going on over there! How do I get myself a long ribbon and sassy dance routine?” Rhythmic gymnastics always pulled my attention at the club, but, with my lack of coordination, I would have never stood a chance. All of this time I spent with girls tailored my interests and developed some behaviours with a rather feminine undertone. When you combine this blatant shortage of shared interests with the flouncy mannerisms, stacked onto my, then, unrealized attraction to boys, the result was intense insecurity and crippling anxiety. I know without any doubt that back then if you were to offer me with the choice of walking barefoot down a path of broken glass OR having to walk alone past the male football team, I would’ve had my shoes off and in hand, ready to take on the path of broken glass.
When I remember this time in my life, I can’t help but think of the others who are living with that fear in this very moment—young adults who feel different and that difference evolving into fear. This is why Pride Month is important to me. Everyone has the right to feel confident and safe. Exposure to positive examples of acceptance can help those young adults who feel silenced by fear and let them know that they are not alone. People tend to be wary of what is unknown, and this is one of many reasons why education is paramount. Pride Month is an opportunity to show others our happiness, our achievements, our love and fulfillment that is built on the foundation of living our truth. It’s important to me that Pride Month be more than colourful parades with loud music, body paint and phallic water-guns. I look for the more silent displays of Pride. The elder gay couple that, for the first time in their life, feel safe walking amongst a crowd holding one another’s hands. The parents with young children at a Pride event demonstrating acceptance and allowing their children the exposure to the diversity of people living their truth. Don’t get me wrong—I appreciate the celebrations and will always be the first in line for an evening of drag queen-hosted bingo, but it’s important to remember that these celebrations haven’t always been possible, or even legal.
This month of expressing pride, sharing individual stories and taking advantage of the many teaching opportunities, also allows me to feel fortunate in my role within the speaking industry. Working closely with such a broad range of talented, brilliant minds and helping introduce their topics with audiences is extremely gratifying. It’s important to always ask questions and continue to learn throughout your life. A foolish person always agrees, but an intelligent person isn’t afraid to ask ‘why’. When presented with opposing beliefs, it’s important to try to not hold them to your own, but ask for more information. Ask the questions that help understand why they reached their beliefs and always keep an open mind. Take a look at different perspectives and offer compassion and understanding—you just might learn something.
In rhythmic gymnastics, when the choreography of a routine comes to an end, that dazzling bright ribbon falls to the floor and, thus, ends the magic. Knowledge is like a never-ending rhythmic gymnastics routine. Curiosity is the choreography and enlightenment is the dazzling ribbon. Once the curiosity is gone, the ribbon falls flat on the ground and loses its lustre. If we remain curious and always ask ‘why’, our life will never be without the dazzling ribbon that will continue to enchant our audiences.
Make sure to preach the works of love and acceptance and always remember that everyone deserves to be happy and feel safe. And if you’re a mother with a sassy young boy of your own, make sure your shoe game is on point. Happy Pride Month!
Outspoken Agency is a women-owned speaking agency representing leaders, founders, public intellectuals, authors and entertainers for paid keynotes, workshops and panels at in-person and virtual events. Learn more about our female founders here.